East O' The Sun And West O' The Moon
by wildcatt
Summary: A collection of AU Nejiten drabbles and oneshots, each one set in a different time or place.
1. Nice Backside, Babe

**At the moment, I am planning to keep this as a collection of AU Nejiten drabbles or oneshots, each one being set in a different time or place (and often, in a completely different world). I _might_ add other pairings in later, but for now only Nejiten is in the works. **

**---------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Nice backside, babe. **

**---------------------------------------------------------------------**

"Does the man never stop working?" Tenten scowled, scooping an enormous helping of potato onto Lee's plate. "I've called him _five _times to come out for dinner now, and he's _still_ stuck in that cramped little room of his, studying those damn fossils! I won't be surprised if he keels over within the hour!"

"Eh, Tenten," Lee smiled wryly, trying to appease the young undergraduate's ruffled temper. "Neji is a virile man in the prime of his youth! I'm sure he can stand a few hours of intense –" he stopped, swallowing, as Tenten directed her murderous glare from the closed door at the end of the compartment to his terrified expression underneath his shiny new bowl cut. "Eheheh...heh...and oh, have I mentioned that you sure are one wonderful cook, Tenten? Your culinary skills are blooming like a flower at midnight, like a..."

Tenten wasn't listening. She was sick and tired of the Hyuuga's antisocial behaviour. When she had first landed the job as an assistant at the archaeological investigation in outer Mongolia, with the opportunity to help sift through layers of soil to uncover what was promising to be the biggest find of the decade (an enormous Plesiosaurus skeleton, almost perfectly preserved!) she had not imagined herself being trapped with two other undergraduate students in a small caravan out in a desert. Two _strange_ undergraduates, no less. Lee, she already had trouble dealing with - sure, he was a complete sweetie, but really, he had to trim those eyebrows of his _some_ time, right? And that Hyuuga Neji! She had been told that he was a genius, a whiz kid from some top university – and he was smart alright, having proved his prowess from the very first day of the investigation. But what was with his _attitude? _His holier-than-thou, I'm-better-than-you-and-you-know-it way of interacting with people? (And why did he have to be so goddamned good looking? What was up with _that? _Huh?)

And most damning of all - what was with him _not bothering to eat the food that she had spent _three _hours to prepare? _Three! THREE!

It wasn't that she didn't understand the obsessive fervor that could consume a person and push them into focusing on nothing but the work before them; she herself were given to bouts of intense study, having fostered her love for all things decaying or preserved since childhood and absolutely determined to pursue her lifelong dream - to be a brilliant archaeologist, like the great Professor Tsunade – but all mortals needed to _eat_, right, and Hyuuga Neji was definitely a mortal (even if he had the physique of a sex god. But sh''d rather not go in to that right now.)

"Hyuuga Neji!" She strode to the end of the dining compartment of the tiny caravan, slamming her fists against the door. "You better come out before _I _come in and drag your pretty ass to the table!" (_Pretty?_ She had meant scrawny. But oh well.)

Silence from the other side. Tenten snarled. This was it – to hell with his privacy. Her food was at stake. "You're asking for this, buster! I'm coming in!" She slammed open the door, storming furiously into the dark and murky confines of the man's bedroom. "Didn't you hear me call for you –"

She stopped abruptly. Neji was asleep against his desk, head resting on his elbows, hair spread out in inky streaks over stray pieces of paper. The white glare of the desk lamp was the only source of light in the room, illuminating clearly the small fossils still loosely clutched in his gloved hands.

"Oh, you stupid boy," Tenten sighed, stalking over to where he was slumped in his chair. Her gaze swept over the countless pages of meticulous notes he had written up in his neat, tiny handwriting. "Oy, wake up. It's time for dinner."

No response. Neji seemed to be a rather deep sleeper. She poked him and he shifted slightly, a grumpy moan issuing from the crook of his elbows before the silence recommenced.

"Fine," she snapped. "Honestly. Someday you're going to work yourself to death, you know?"

Neji was not awake to give his usual cool, composed response, so she stomped out of his room again, grabbing a plate from the table in front of a startled Lee before returning and placing the food with surprising gentleness on the desk before him. She switched off the light and hauled a blanket over his back, in case he caught a cold from the air conditioning.

She turned to look at him again before she went out of the room, watching the way his shoulders rose and fell from his steady breathing. For the moment she could almost forget his goddamned arrogance and pretend he was just another normal, obsessive young man sleeping on the job. "Idiot." she muttered, and closed the door behind her with a soft click.

------------------------------------------

Neji emerged when she was drying the dishes, coming up from behind her to run his finished plate under the tap. Tenten started when she felt him lean against her lightly to reach for the cleaning detergent, the smooth cotton of his rolled up shirt sleeves brushing against her bare skin.

"I see you've decided to honour us with your presence at last," she greeted him snippily.

"Hn."

_You're welcome_, Tenten thought dryly, scrubbing furiously at a plate with a towel. "Don't expect me to leave you dinner next time you fall asleep at the desk," she informed him gruffly.

"Hn."

"Hmph." Tenten scowled, slid the plate abruptly into the open cutlery cupboard and flipped the towel roughly into the sink before turning away, intending to leave the scene before his ingratitude and infuriating indifference made her punch the bastard. "Good night."

"Tenten."

"What?" she snapped, spinning on her heel. Neji was still facing the sink, finishing his washing up. Tenten glared venomously into his back. What now? (A small voice at the back of her mind was noting gleefully that his backside _was_ rather pretty, but she squashed it. Viciously.)

"You're...quite a good cook." He took her towel from the sink, wrung it dry, hung it onto the drying rack. (And it simply wasn't fair how someone could look so damn good doing the washing. It wasn't!)

She sniffed. "Thank you."

"And Tenten?"

"Yes?"

"...yours isn't bad either."

It took a moment before Tenten understood his meaning; when she did, she found herself flushing involuntarily, a dark stain creeping over her cheeks. What? Hadn't he been asleep? How had he had heard her? Damnit!

She growled, embarrassed. _Hyuuga Neji_...

..._what a (sexy)_ _bastard._


	2. Defying Gravity

**My first attempt at anything remotely sci-fi. I've never been much of a Star Wars fan, so please have mercy on my poor excuse of spacecraft names.**

**---------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Defying Gravity**

**---------------------------------------------------------------------**

**: 19:24 G-time, Phase 204 Earth Year 3012 : **

_"All pilots report to the emergency hangars immediately. I repeat, all pilots report to the emergency hangars immediately. Civilians must make their way to the Life-craft at Gates D7 and D8. All pilots report –" _

Commander Tsunade's barked commands echoed through the narrow, maze-like corridors of the inter-galactic space station; the clinical white inner corridors were drenched in sudden flashes of dark red as the warning lights went off in a flurry of activity. High pitched screams resounded from the embedded sirens along the wall as sleek figures in streamlined silver suits streaked through the anti-gravity galleries, towed along by the moving magnetic belt that ran on one face of the otherwise bare passageways.

"Neji! Stop, wait for me! Neji!"

Hyuuga Neji, Eleventh X-Byakufenz-292 pilot of the Gateway Troops, Seventh Division jerked his wrist up, detaching the thin metal band that ran around his wrist from the magnetic belt. He turned mid-air, helmet tucked under one arm as he stared in disbelief at the furiously waving figure coming towards him. "...Tenten?"

"I'm coming with you!" Tenten tugged loose from the belt when she reached him, grasping desperately onto his shoulders and the two spun away, clutching tightly onto each other. "Neji-"

He glared at her angrily. "What are you doing here? Where did you get the suit? You _know_ it's illegal for civilians to use the emergency galleries-"

"I know, I know, but I just_ had_ to come so I stole this off one of the guards – I'll fight with you, Neji, I can -"

"Impossible." He shook his head firmly as he tugged them both to the opposite wall of the passageway, activating a side door with a thumb pressed against the fingerprint recognition pad. He pushed the struggling girl into the darkened room and slid the door shut behind them, switching on the gravity simulation function with a deft flick of his wrist. Soft strands of hair slowly settled down around Tenten's face as they sank to the floor.

"You promised you would take me with you the next time you flew," she accused him heatedly, cheeks flushed in anger and worry.

"Don't be foolish. Orochimaru is attacking the station – he's brought more than a hundred Soundships with him. It's _dangerous_ out there, Tenten."

"I can help you! I can man the guns, you know that!"

"No."

"You _promised_."

"You should be finding your way to the Life-Crafts right now. Orochimaru's ships will be arriving any moment."

"What, and leave you to go out there on your own so you could _sacrifice_ yourself?" Tenten hissed. "The Byakufenz can seat _two_, Neji. You _know_ I've got much better aim than you. I scored 100 percenton the simulations, remember?"

"This isn't a_ simulation_." Neji grabbed her by the shoulders and barely resisted the urge to shake her. "Tenten, listen to me. I will not allow you to risk your life like this. This is a _war_ and there will be casualties, and you.. ..." he paused, silver gaze sweeping over the pained features of his girlfriend. "You will not be one of them. Leave, Tenten."

"What about all that time you spent teaching me how to pilot your ship? All those times you sneaked me into the hangars so I could try out the ionizing ray guns? Were they all for nothing? _Please_, Neji. Let me fight with you," Tenten pleaded.

Neji groaned inwardly. His girlfriend _was_ amazingly proficient with spacecraft and weaponry – quite a feat, considering the fact that civilians were prohibited from handling all military equipment. Tenten had picked up the basics quickly and easily after she managed to convince Neji to smuggle her into the hangars the second year into their relationship. She had even managed to persuade him into giving her a few private lessons after lock-down; it was a sign of how much Neji loved her that the normally protocol-driven man could be manipulated into breaking Konohan law just to appease her dreams of flying. But this – this, he could not agree to. Never. Not when she might become injured or even die in battle.

Not when she might suffer the same fate as his father.

The barest hint of a long subdued grief flickered over his smooth, pale features as his mind momentarily reeled from suddenly recalled memories of the worst days of his childhood. That sickening moment when he had learned of his father's death; the slow burning anger and grief when he found out later that his uncle, Captain Hiashi of the Gateway Troops, would have been the one to die if Hizashi had not slammed his ship into the attacking android-controlled destroyer.

Neji balked internally at the familiar emotions that threatened to overwhelm and forced them to the side, brutally. "I can't," he told her softly. "I'm sorry."

Tenten gazed wordlessly up into his carefully closed expression. There was a tense, uncomfortable pause between them; beyond the thick steel wall the sirens continued to wail.

"Actually..._I'm _sorry," she murmured quietly. Neji had no time to wonder what she meant before she suddenly shot out a hand and clamped a small piece of cloth over his mouth.

_... ...Chloroform? _

The heady scent immediately sent him dizzyingly off balance; the world spun through his blurring vision and slowly faded into darkness. Tenten caught him before he hit the ground, flinging his arms around her shoulders.

"I'm sorry, Neji...but I won't let you fight alone," she whispered, pressing his hand against the recognition pad.

The door slid open smoothly. The rest of Neji's squad had gone ahead already, leaving the gallery echoingly empty. Tenten stepped out into mid-air and pulled Neji gently into her arms before re-latching her metal wrist band to the magnetic belt. She sighed and rested her cheek on his slumped shoulders but her gaze was unflinching as she stared forwards, a determined expression settling into the normally cheerful outlines of her face.

There was a war to be won (and her boyfriend to be protected).

---------------------------------------- ------------------------------

**: 19:46 G-time, Phase 204 Earth Year 3012 : **

_"X-Pilot No. 332, you are ready for lift-off. I repeat, X-Pilot No. 332, you are ready for lift-off. Please proceed to runway B4 immediately –" _

Hyuuga Neji woke up to find himself seated at the control panel of his X-Byakufenz-292, Shizune's urgent instructions from the control tower crackling through transmission.

"Get a move on and start this baby up, Neji! Everyone's gone already, the runway's free now. I've got the guns all primed up and ready to go. Let's go kick some Soundship butt!"

_Oh God. _

Neji started, abruptly turning around to see Tenten perched happily at the weapons consoles, lips quirking up in a sheepish smile. "Tenten – no –" He reached forwards andgripped her wrists tightly. "Don't do this..." he trailed off, breath hitching.

_"X-Pilot No. 332, you are ready for lift-off. I repeat, X-Pilot No. 332, you are ready – "_

Tenten glared at him fiercely, eyes bright.

Of _course_ she was frightened. She had never fought before, had never had to put her life on the line. But from the very first days of their relationship she had decided that she could not, _would _not, let Neji put himself in danger without her. Ever.

Not when he might leave her with nothing but a body in a burning wreck drifting through space, like her father had done.

_"X-Pilot No. 332, you are ready-" _

"I'm coming with you."

Pale eyes met brown; Neji sighed, traced his fingers gently over hers.

"Alright," he whispered. Tenten smiled.

"Let's go."


	3. The King's Champion

**The first AU drabble I wrote. Silly fluff involving Neji and the blatant misuse of power. XD**

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**You don't have to be a Princess to snare a King. **

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

The King's Champion stood on the open air balcony that jutted out of the Royal bedchambers, gazing out into the dusty morning. The castle gardens were wilting in the acrid summer heat; leaning against the blessedly cool stones of the balustrade, she could feel the slanting sunlight burn slowly across her face and she frowned slightly, silently cursing the drought that had ravaged Konoha the entire summer.

"Tenten."

She turned around, blinking once, twice, before her eyes adjusted to the relative darkness of her King's private chambers. Neji was squinting at her from the doorway, a sleepy gaze that softened the usually hard, clean lines of his face.

"Your majesty." She dipped her head slightly in greeting instead of the customarily required bow. As his Champion, and being on rather...intimate...terms with the man, she was spared the strict formalities that normally accompanied addressing the ruler of a vast kingdom.

Neji stepped forwards groggily, reaching out and pulling her to him by the waist. "What are you doing?"

"Cherishing the feel of not wearing armour for a while." Tenten smiled cheerfully at him and he took a cursory glance downwards, taking in the thin shift that was draped loosely over her torso, the knee length breeches.

"Hn. I liked what you were wearing last night better."

Tenten scrunched her nose. "I wasn't wearing anything last night."

"Precisely."

"Your majesty!" she laughed, blushing, as she pushed herself off his chest. "Your words are hardly befitting of a King."

"Nor yours a Champion." His smirk, now, was decidedly royal. Tenten had the urge to wipe it off his face (with a kiss, maybe), but she knew he was right, in a way – she really _was _a rather strange choice of an appointed protector of his royal majesty, Hyuuga Neji. She had astounded the entire Konohan Kingdom when she, of no proper family name, history, or standing (a woman, no less!) had won the kingdom-wide tournament hosted by the House of Hyuuga four years ago, earning Tenten her current position.

"Yes, but _I _don't have a kingdom's honour precariously upheld by _my _personal integrity." she reminded him archly. Neji chuckled.

"No, you don't." he agreed, and Tenten started when he reached for her again, drawing her into his arms. She felt a strange tugging at her heart when he leaned down, resting his forehead on hers; their fingers entangled, his thumb rubbing gently against her calloused palm.

They stood under the stone archway separating the bedchamber from the balcony for a long moment, wrapped in each other. Tenten closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of his breath, light and hot on her cheek.

Neji was first to break the peaceful silence. "Your training must be going very well, Tenten. I admired your stamina greatly last night. Would you care for a repeat performance?"

"...your majesty!"


	4. The Good Guy

**Guess what I've been doing instead of homework despite there being only 2 weeks left before school?**

------------------------------------------------------

**The Good Guy.**

**------------------------------------------------------------------**

"So you're the good guy, huh?" Tenten glanced at the white eyed man by her side as they sprinted across the rooftop of the Orochi Headquarters. Behind them the door was blasted open by fierce gunfire; a dozen gun-toting guards rushed out after them, shouting into ear pieces and signaling frantically at each other.

"Hn." The man smirked arrogantly but his eye was on her, carefully assessing the bun haired brunette, pale gaze sweeping over her tight black leather outfit – purely to check if she had any useful weapons on her, of course. So Tenten had been an undercover at the corrupt Orochi Inc.all along, just like him. Inwardly he felt a faint sense of relief; he knew that he had grown dangerously attached to her during his brief stint as an undercover M16 agent working under Orochimaru's right hand man, Kabuto. Tenten, secretary to the big man himself, had caught his attention on the very first day with her intelligent banter and the warm smile that had seemed to hide so much more... ...

Well, he had been right. "That would depend, I suppose,"he continued. They had arrived at the edge of the building, jumping onto the concrete barricades easily. Eighty four floors of thin air opened up below them, a gaping vacuum ending at the cracked concrete of the busy street. Commuters and traffic bustled noisily on ground level, flickering lights glinting up and brightening the night sky. He glanced sideways at her, smirk widening. "So you're a good girl, huh?"

Tenten smiled, whipping out a shotgun from where, he didn't know. That uniform looked pretty damn tight to him, sticking to her form like water."Most decidedly not," she murmured, pressing the trigger with the confidence of a woman who's been on the job for far too long. A thin cable shot out from the gun barrel, the end hook whipping through the air and catching onto the long, horizontal pole stretching out from the opposite skyscraper, from which hung a long banner that nearly stretched to the ground.

"Nice shot," he complimented her quietly.

"Thank you." They grabbed onto each other, his arm snaking around her waist and hers around his neck, and then they were off, plummeting down, down, until the cable pulled taut and they swung across the street. Neji latched onto the banner, fingers tearing into the laminated card; Tenten released her hold on the shotgun immediately, the two coordinating their actions effortlessly.

"So tell me," she asked him, her lips barely grazing the faint stubble on his jaw as the banner tore and they began the slower, more controlled descent to the ground. "What's your real name?"

He chuckled and she almost purred at the feel of the rumbling against her chest. "The name is Neji," he told her. " ...Hyuuga Neji."

"Mmmm." To his surprise she snuggled closer, her hair flung loose by the wind and flowing above them in a mass of brown waves. "Pleased to meet you, Hyuuga Neji."

Then they hit the ground, both momentarily stunned by the jarring tremor that jolted their bodies. A distant wailing of police cars, a scream; people were gathering around.

"Ready?" he whispered into her ear, picking them both off the concrete, his hand never leaving its comfortable position at her waist. (Hey, whoever said that being a good guy didn't have its benefits?)

She was smiling again when her hand slid into his and they were off, two sleek figures slipping fluidly through the busy streets of Konoha. "Always."


	5. The Lady's Personal Greek God

This one is only a semi-AU because technically it's still set in the same 'world' as the manga, though I'm sure the silliness of the idea would propel it safely into crack-dom.

**Eros** is the Greek name for who is more commonly known as Cupid, the name by which the Romans called the God of Love.

Similarly, **Hermes** is the same as Mercury - Zeus' messenger, as well as being the Master Thief and God of Commerce and Markets. **Athena** is the fierce, ruthless Battle-Goddess, also Goddess of Wisdom and protector of the Greek city of Athena, which is where this story is based.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

**The Lady's Personal Greek God.**

**-**-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"_And he whom Love touches walks not in darkness." _Plato

The original mission had been for Team Gai to act as diplomatic envoys, to forge useful friendships and map the known territories in the West. Tsunade had decided that allies across the ocean could prove to be extremely useful in the case of war between the shinobi countries within the Land of the Sun, the series of islands on which Leaf, Tea, Rock and various others were situated. Hence, a small, rickety ship was provided for the three up-and-coming young shinobi – Gai being already occupied with another long term mission with Team 7 – and they were packed off with an abundance of diplomatic scrolls and supplies for a year long mission.

After sailing around the southern tip of the vast continent inhabited by people with skin black as soot, they had traveled further northwards towards Rain country - cold, wet islands where, reportedly, men wore checkered skirts with nothing underneath. What they found there, however, was nothing more than the beginnings of a civilization that was, curiously, preoccupied with towing various large boulders upstream and placing them in a circle amidst a pretty field. (A Stone Hedge, Tenten had called it.) Afterwards they made their way back down to Dune country where they abandoned their ship and continued on foot, passing huge statues of what seemed to be half-men, half lions, and a series of enormous pyramids. From there their friendly, loin cloth wearing hosts had offered to take them to Tomato country by one of the royal ships. Unfortunately a freak wind blew them eastwards into the midst of a terrible storm, whereupon the vessel had simply disintegrated, leaving the three shinobi clinging to what remained of the deck and a few wooden trunks.

After nearly a day of helpless drifting their makeshift raft had split open upon running aground, moss covered planks creaking and groaning before splintering against the sharp, jagged boulders that stretched along the coast. Tenten and Neji had barely made it in one piece, straggling up the sandy beach with countless bruises and shallow cuts opened across their skin. Lee had energetically propelled himself to shore a while ago with a powerful back kick and allocated himself the task of scouting out the area, disappearing with a youthful 'Yosh!' and eyebrows determinedly furrowed.

Exhausted, but unwilling to admit it, Tenten and Neji now pried open the trunks, hoping they contained food or fresh water - only to find themselves staring into the marvelous assortment of weaponry Tenten had collected from their travels. Although they were now direly lacking in sustenance or proper nourishment, Neji suspected that she was secretly rejoicing from the bright gleam in her eyes.

That was, until a tell tale rumble came from the general vicinity of her stomach.

"Let's go farther inland and see where Lee's run off to," she suggested while smiling sheepishly, promptly filling every available pocket in her still damp clothes with as much metal as they would hold. Neji himself - despite the fact that his fighting style did not require much weaponry - grabbed a bow and a quiver of arrows, having been extremely impressed by the use of said weapons by hunters in the Savannah. (Besides, Tenten seemed quite attached to it... ... and it would be a shame to leave it to rot by the sea.)

Beyond the beach a roughly beaten dirt track wound clumsily into a dense forest, a heartening sign of civilization. Neji had been in the middle of checking their surroundings for any bleached bones or blatant signs of cannibalism – the last time they met a clan of man-eaters had been a diplomatic disaster, the clan head having taken offense at the Konohan ambassadors' refusal to dine at their welcoming feast – when Tenten caught his attention with a whistle and a strange request.

"Neji," Tenten called to him, a sheer black rag in one hand. "I think you'd better wear a blindfold."

Neji burrowed his feet firmly into the crumbly white sand at his feet, frowning partly from the bright glare of the sun and partly from confusion. "Why?"

"We don't want to scare the locals with your eyes," she explained, gesturing towards the offending white orbs with a careless flick of the wrist. "Remember the last time we landed in Chili country and the priests wanted to sacrifice you for their rain prayer?"

He accepted her logic with a small smile, allowing her to blindfold him. Closing his eyes at the feel of her breath, hot and light against the back of his neck, he secretly savoured the darkness that enveloped him. Perpetual sight was not, unlike what other clans tended to think, always a blessing, and he enjoyed the momentary heightening of his other senses. The gentle, deft way in which Tenten's fingers knotted the cloth. The faint fragrance of chrysanthemums that she still carried despite having been drenched in sea water for nearly a full day. The warmth of her body pleasantly close to his.

"We'll just have to pretend that you're blind," she murmured quietly, letting her fingers trace down his shoulders when she was finished, not knowing that her touch burned into his skin. He swallowed and nodded slowly, activating his Byakugan with a sigh.

"I'll keep the arrows on me just in case," he said, shouldering the bow he had picked out from the weapons trunk.

She arched an eyebrow. "The blind marksman?"

"No. The lady's personal valet." He picked up what was left of their belongings, leaving Tenten with nothing to carry but an amused smile on her face.

-------------------------------------------------------

After nearly an hour of limping over the hilly terrain, the foliage finally thinned and they found themselves staring down at a sprawling metropolis. Low lying houses squatted on the Eastern side of the city, a pretty patchwork of multicoloured roofs catching the bright afternoon sunlight. They could make out a few marketplaces, perfect squares that bustled with civilians and vendors. Beautifully groomed parks surrounded sprawling villas near the West; in the distance, enormous steps had been carved into a cliff overlooking a semi-circular stage. An imposing temple – an elaborate affair, all white marble columns and a beautifully carved, triangular roof – watched over the city atop a nearby cliff.

"Oh my," she breathed. " I think we – that's the Parthenon - I think we might actually be in – "

Neji glanced at Tenten when she lapsed into an awed silence. He himself had no idea what they had come across, but his teammate, thorough and enthusiastic in her research as usual, had probably read about this place during one of her frequent trips to the village library.

"Tenten?" he ventured, breaking the young woman's reverie. She blinked, coloured, and laughed lightly.

"Sorry. Well, judging by the design of the buildings and the flora and fauna in the area – and that grand building up there, I swear I've seen a drawing of it in one of Tsunade-sama's older scrolls – I think we might be in Lightning country."

"Lightning country." Neji didn't sound impressed. "I would have thought it'd be less... ...sunny."

"Oh, this place isn't really named after the weather," Tenten hastened to explain. "Apparently they believe in a whole host of Gods, and the main one – who sort of acts like a clan head, I guess – uses lightning bolts as his signature weapon."

"Hn." Neji dipped his head in understanding. Suddenly he stiffened, fingers tightening around the weapon he held in his hands. "Three people are coming our way. Civilians, probably. Two adults and a small child."

Tenten's hands brushed instinctively over the assortment of knives tucked neatly into the belt under her shirt. "Armed?"

"I don't think so."

They met the travelers on the road a few minutes later. Upon seeing the two shinobi the woman gasped and immediately grabbed her little girl, tucking her into a protective embrace. Tenten smiled warmly and raised a hand in greeting, encouraged when they didn't draw back. "Hello?" she called to them. "Do you understand what I'm saying? Hello? Could you help us please, we're looking for –"

"Eros!" She was interrupted when the woman emitted a shrill cry, pointing at Neji. The man, too, was staring openly at the Hyuuga; Tenten started when he suddenly collapsed onto his knees, hands splayed flat on the dusty ground.

"N-Neji?" she mumbled, unsure of what to do. Unfortunately Neji seemed to be just as surprised as her, eyebrows rising in thinly disguised disbelief when the woman also dropped down and the couple began babbling in a strange, guttural language, all the while touching their foreheads to the ground reverentially. Neji couldn't make head or tails of what they were saying, only noting that the word 'Eros' seemed to feature in their vocabulary quite a lot.

"Eros?" Tenten frowned. "I think I know that name from somewhere...it was on one of the scrolls, I'm sure...Eros, Eros...oh God, Eros!" Suddenly she let out a short bark of laughter. "Neji, they think you're a God!"

"A God?" Neji glanced at her warily.

"The God of Love," she confirmed teasingly, the amusement unmistakable in her voice. The Hyuuga turned away, trying to fight down the blush that burned his cheeks.

"I see." He didn't see, not really, but he supposed that being mistaken for a God would probably make arranging diplomatic partnerships that much easier.

Less than half an hour later, the two shinobi had been hustled into town where a huge, cheering crowd had already assembled. Neither understood a word of what they were shouting but cheered up immensely nonetheless when they were led to what seemed to be the most luxurious villa in town and welcomed with a lavish feast. There too, they found another surprise.

"Lee!" Tenten cried, brightening up at the sight of their teammate sitting at the table. Lee grinned at them and bounded over, flashing them a thumbs up.

"Tenten, Neji!" he exclaimed, bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet. "Guess what? I'm not sure why, but I do suspect that they think I'm a God! They keep kneeling and calling me – what was it – Hermes! Ha! It must be my youthful passion that has touched their hearts and set their spirits on fire!"

Tenten smiled weakly. "Hermes...the Messenger God, known for his speed," she recited from memory. She glanced at his legs; Lee had taken off his weights when their ship sank. "Ah."

Overall their arrival was a huge success. Lee enthralled the crowds by sprinting up to their temple and back at breakneck speed, and there was generally a lot of prostrating and young maidens smiling coquettishly at a bemused Neji (and a rather annoyed Tenten.) All three had been ushered into private rooms and helped into fresh, clean clothes; Tenten insisted on re-hiding her entire armoury inside the folds of her snowy white toga, much to the distress of the servants.

The kunoichi herself was rather torn between amusement (the embarrassed look on Neji's face was priceless) and feeling a little put out that she was merely a mortal. A very well-fed mortal friend of two powerful Gods, granted, but a mortal nonetheless. She sat at the table by herself while Neji attempted to communicate with a few elderly and no doubt politically influential men, staring into her goblet with her chin propped up by her arm on the table. The food and wine were all very nice and all, but she was starting to get a little bored of the feast. A whole, unexplored city lay outside of the villa and she was itching to scamper around, to draw up a map of the city for Tsunade-sama. If she sneaked away now, surely no one would notice... ...

-------------------------------------------------------

She managed to find her way into the private gardens a little while later, sighing as she wandered around and admired the mosaic pattern that decorated the tiled path. A few birds were chirping nearby in the impeccably groomed trees; otherwise there was a peaceful silence, broken only by the murmuring of the crowds in the distance.

"Tenten."

She didn't bother turning around, knowing who it was by the familiar, thrillingly low timbre of his voice. "How did you find me out here?" she asked absently, bending over to peer curiously at an exotic bloom.

"If one is a God, one must be omniscient."

She paused, glancing over her shoulders with a rueful smile on her face. "Was that a joke, Hyuuga Neji? They must have made you _very _happy."

He didn't answer, merely stepping forwards to stand by her side. It was then that she noticed the bow was still on him, the quiver of arrows swung over his shoulder. That must've been it, she realized. The bow, the blindfold. She turned to him, leaning forwards so her forehead nearly brushed his chin. Even blindfolded Hyuuga Neji was still a beautiful man, the concealing of his eyes only serving to draw attention to his other features.

"So, the God of Love, huh?" she whispered. She reached an arm around his neck, smiling when his breath hitched. Smiled again at his slightly put out expression when she merely plucked an arrow from the quiver. "Hyuuga Neji, immortal matchmaker." She almost laughed at the absurdity of the idea.

He growled warningly, pride ruffled by her teasing. "Tenten... ..."

"When are you going to find _me _a man to call my own?" she asked jokingly, tracing the tip of the arrow lightly down his chest.

He caught her by the wrist. "Never."

"Never?" She pouted. "You're too lazy to be a God."

He shook his head. "Too selfish," he corrected her huskily, and bent down to kiss her firmly on the lips.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The feasting hall was in an uproar when they returned. Lee had apparently given in to the urging of his ardent worshippers and tasted the local wine; said worshippers were now huddling in small clusters, staring fearfully at the energetic blur that was the drunken shinobi.

"Lee!" Tenten groaned, reaching into her toga. "Lee! Stop it!"

Within moments Lee was pinned to the wall by his toga, an interesting assortment of knives outlining his body. "Let me –hic- at them, Tenten! Let –hic- me go an' reignite their youth-hic-ful springtime –hic-"

She sighed, grabbing a pitcher of cold water from the table and dunking the contents over his head. "Wake up!" She slapped him a few times for good measure. "Oi! Wake up! Neji, can you help?"

Turning around to search for her teammate she was stunned by the sight of the adoring gazes of the entire congregation. An awed silence, and then the hall erupted into cheers of "Athena! Athena! Athena!" - after which much prostrating ensued, this time directed at the surprised kunoichi.

It was time for Tenten's own ascension to divinity.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So there you have it. Love isn't blind; Love is merely a Hyuuga. XD

**NOTE**: In the earliest stories, before he was portrayed as the mischievous child of Aphrodite (Venus), the poets described Eros – Love – as merely a faithful companion of the Goddess, a beautiful, serious young man; blindfolded, because Love is often blind, and carrying a bow and arrow, with which he pierces the hearts of mortals and Gods alike. Thank you for reading.


	6. The Superheroes Therapy Club

**My, these are getting long, aren't they? Usually I try to write drabbles instead of longer one-shots because it's more challenging to create an AU in a condensed piece, but I liked this idea so much that I couldn't bear to simplify it... ... -flails around desperately for excuses-**

**The next one will be short. Yes. It will. **

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**The Superheroes Therapy Club**

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Dagger sank deeper into the soft cushions of the armchair, curling her knees into her body comfortably. She was glad to be rid of her usual slinky Chinese dress – a tacky, red and gold affair, but her agent had insisted it worked wonders for her 'image'. The room was filling with people now that the meeting was about to begin, superheroes bustling around greeting each other with varying degrees of enthusiasm. She cocked her head, surveying the room with a sleepy smile on her face. The Superheroes Therapy Club was hated by almost half its members (they wouldn't be here if the Leaf government, worried about the psyche of its resident defenders of the peace, hadn't made it a law for all superheroes to attend a session at least once a month) - but she rather liked it, finding it oddly comforting to be part of a group for a while after long durations of solo missions.

The Orchid – a bubbly blonde, famed for the flowers she scattered over the corpses of enemies – was bickering with Pinkie again, the fighter-turned-healer named after the colour of her hair and her disturbing ability to smash a concrete wall with her little finger. Meanwhile, Red Eye, the object of their strife, was walking off with his hands in his pockets, a terminally sullen expression on his face. Tenten grinned to herself as she watched the beautiful, moody young man (nicknamed Duck within the superhero circle for a widely known but never talked about reason) stalk away from his arguing admirers.

Foxy was at the bar, devouring a bowl of ramen and talking to one of the X-Ray Sisters; Shadowman (also known as The Brain) was slouching behind Puffball in a futile attempt to hide from Hurricane, the blonde bombshell. The Puppet Master and Sandman were trailing after their sister with long-suffering expressions, skirting warily around Fang and Kung-Fu Killer, who were busily engaged in a loud mock duel. Bug Boy was standing alone in the corner as usual, hands stuffed deep into his pockets and murmuring to his insects from behind his collar.

Speaking of quiet, socially-challenged young men... ...where was Neji? It wasn't like him to be late, and Hinata was already here. She frowned lightly, biting her lip in worry. Perhaps he had been waylaid by a villain on his way here. The Snake Lord, even. Perhaps he was currently fighting his way through a horde of criminals, ambushed and attacked on all sides. Perhaps he was conditioning his hair and was still back at his apartment. Perhaps... ...

"Tenten."

She tilted her face up, surprised to see Neji standing right behind her armchair. "Neji! What took you so long?"

"Hn." He shrugged.

It was a sign of familiarity and trust, the fact that they addressed each other by their real names. Superheroes were normally squeamish about telling others their personal details, finding privacy very hard to maintain after saving Konoha from destruction the fifth, sixth time. Neji and Tenten, however, had been partnered with each other from the very first Superheroes Therapy Club meeting – assigned to be each other's Care and Share Buddy, in fact – which meant they were supposed to be a pillar of support for each other, a confidante for their deepest, darkest secrets.

Tenten had found it difficult at first to probe into the famed X-Ray user, what with the super-reinforced steel barricades he had set up around his ice cube of a heart, but over time the tension had eased and she had been surprised to find him opening up a little for her, talking to her, standing by her side during the meetings when she least expected it. A few times he even called on her during the rest of the month, appearing at the most random moments with the most random excuses – needing bandages, some weapons (after all, she wasn't nicknamed The Armoury by all her fellow Superheroes for nothing), needing to borrow her conditioner, inviting her to spar... ...Tenten smiled to herself. If she didn't know better, she would say that Neji, - the great X-Ray Neji, abandoned on Earth with his cousin by their fathers when they were but mere babes to escape the destruction of Planet Hyuuga - was falling for her.

Heh. As if.

"Alright, alright! People, lets gather round now!" Tsunade, their guidance counselor, had entered the room and was now waving for them all to start the meeting. The Superheroes settled into the circle of comfy chairs in the middle of the room in a sourly muttering mass of Superhero-ness, passing around paper cups filled with steaming hot chocolate. The lights were dimmed into a soft, warm glow and soothing music was piped in. Tenten distinctly saw Red Eye twitch and glance jerkily around the room, probably intending to burn the speakers with the intensity of his gaze alone.

"Well, my friends," Tsunade began, shuffling a sheaf of papers on her lap with a sigh. "Before we begin, I'd like to remind you all to hand in your self-evaluations for last month's topic on 'When friends become foe: how to deal when a loved one succumbs to the evil forces '. Please hand your sheets to Shizune after the session is closed. Yes, that includes you, Red Eye. Alright, alright. We can start now." She sighed again, taking a swig from a beer can she kept by her side at all times. "This month's topic is, I'm sure you'll all be pleased to know, anger management."

Groans from all around; Tenten chuckled under her breath when Neji immediately sat up ramrod straight, hands balling into fists on his lap. If anyone in here needed anger management training, it would be him.

Not that he didn't have a justifiable reason to be furious with life in general.

To the public, Neji and Hinata were unfortunately known as The X-Ray Sisters, having been dubbed such by an up-and-coming reporter when they first began beating up villains with their unique style of martial arts and amazing ability to see through nearly anything. What the reporter and everyone who saw them after that failed to notice was that poor Neji was not in fact, female, but merely a very, very pretty man. For someone with as much pride as Neji (a lot), it was devastating. It was horrific. It was a grave blow to his masculine pride.

Hence, it was really quite understandable (but not acceptable, oh no) that Neji, after seeing Hinata approached by an admiring male bystander after the two had finished off a group of bank robbers, had promptly beat said male into the wall. When _another _admiring male came along, this time professing an interest in 'spicy girls with attitude' – meaning Neji – it was also quite understandable that Neji had beat _him_ into the wall before throwing him through the shattered windows of the bank.

Sadly, the Konohan Government was less than pleased and Counselor Tsunade was swiftly ordered to remedy the fluctuating moods of their Superheroes - in particular, one fuming X-Ray Neji.

"Our task today," Tsunade began briskly again when the mumbling died down. "Is to split up into our Care and Share Buddy pairs and discover an individual way to control your temper and calm down quickly and safely. Your goal this month is to employ this method every time you feel like murdering innocent civilians or ripping your tax bills into shreds. Get going!" It was an acknowledged fact that Tsunade was a pretty awful counselor, being more interested in the contents of her beer can than her charges, but none of the Superheroes ever complained. Their last counselor had been unbearably strict and disgustingly caring, a tanned, pony-tailed man with a horizontal scar across the bridge of his nose - Dolphin Man, a retired Superhero himself.

Neji stood up abruptly and stalked off across the room with a peeved expression darkening his pretty features, slowing down only to allow an amused Tenten to catch up.

Anger management, huh. This could be interesting.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Come on, Neji," Tenten urged softly. "Let's just get this over with."

"...Hn." Neji merely grunted sullenly, not moving from his spot before the window. All the Superheroes had drifted off in pairs to practice anger management in private; the moment Tenten and Neji had entered their usual room he had marched to the window and proceeded to stare out with an injured expression, arms crossed and shoulders slightly hunched. X-Ray Neji was sulking. Again.

"Let's do something you like," she suggested hopefully. "Perhaps that would cheer you up."

"I don't need cheering up."

Tenten sighed, blowing the bangs from her forehead exasperatedly. There really was no point trying to get him to do anything remotely beneficial to the curbing of his temper, and she was in no mood to make a fuss over his childishness. She settled herself down on the fluffy rug near the hearth and began picking at stray pieces of thread, humming quietly to fill the silence. It was a simple, pretty little tune, something her mother had sung her to sleep with when she was a child. Neji never made a sound in protest, so she supposed her humming wasn't that bad.

Tenten found that she was, inexplicably, enjoying herself. The lull in conversation was not awkward, the two having spent enough time together to feel comfortable merely keeping each other company. In fact, she felt rather lucky that she was spending time alone with Neji. It wasn't everyday that people could get this close to him, the cold bastard. Plus, there was always the added bonus of him being so incredibly attractive. Everyone else might have mistaken him for a girl, but once you got close enough you would see the undeniably masculine set of the jaw, the faintest hint of stubble.

A few minutes later she paused to glance up at him, a little worried by his silence. Neji's presence was usually characterized by quietness, but it was a little _too _quiet, even with her humming. Perhaps he had fallen asleep on his feet.

He was still standing with his back to the room, the pale sunlight flooding in through the glass and washing thinly over his face. Tenten found her lips parting involuntarily; he really was a beautiful man. (Boy, if maturity was the deciding factor.)

His shoulders were relaxed now, his entire stance a little slacker. The frown had vanished from his face, replaced by a gentle peace she had never quite seen on him before. His pale eyes were hooded drowsily, his breathing even and controlled. Tenten blinked. He looked...calm, content. He looked –

"You stopped singing." His low baritone broke into her thoughts, startling Tenten from her reverie.

"Huh?"

Suddenly he crouched down before her, elbows on his knees as he watched her intently. "You stopped singing," he repeated quietly.

She coughed. "Uh, that's right."

They stared at each other for a moment, faces mere inches apart. Tenten wondered if he really needed X-Ray vision to see everything clearly; for some reason she felt that she was being read like an open book. "...Neji?" she ventured.

To her surprise he settled himself onto the rug, lying on his back with his head propped on his elbows. "Sing for me?" he asked, and Tenten could've sworn she heard a plaintive tilt to his voice, spoilt brat that he was.

"Uh, well, I can't really sing, but I can certainly try again if you want, well..." she trailed off. He was heartbreakingly good looking with his hair spread out in inky strands around him, contrasting dramatically against the paleness of his skin. She found her eyes glued to the way his chest rose and fell with each breath.

Neji reached a hand over and nudged her gently, a silent command. Tenten blushed and cleared her throat, fixing her gaze back on the safety of the rug.

Her humming was soothing, sweet, and his eyes slowly drifted shut.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Neji," Tenten whispered urgently, poking the half-asleep man before her. "Neji, wake up."

He opened his eyes groggily, peering up at her with a sleepy expression. "Tenten?"

"We only have an hour left to work out an anger management plan for you," she reminded him. "We better start experimenting now or Tsunade will be angry. And start drinking again. And you know how bad _that _can get."

"Experimenting to find what?" He didn't make a move to get up from the floor.

"A method you can use to calm yourself down the next time you decide to throw a tantrum," she explained a little impatiently. "Come on. God knows what we have to do to for _that." _

"I've already found one," he announced, and Tenten started because he was _smiling _up at her, a lazy, gentle curl of his lips, and he was reaching out for her, and –

"Oof!" Tenten gasped when she suddenly found herself tugged to the ground. Neji immediately rolled onto her, one hand pinning her wrist to the ground and the other trailing up her free arm, fingers tracing light circles into her palm.

"Neji?"

And he was trailing butterfly kisses up her neck, along her jawline, his breath hot and light against her cheek, and her world was suddenly white and beautiful and –

- and then he kissed her full on the mouth, his lips soft against hers. Tenten's eyes widened momentarily before lashes fluttered shut, and she let herself enjoy the pleasant weight of his body on hers, the silk of his hair flowing across her skin.

When they broke apart he rested his face in the crook of her neck and she stared up at the ceiling, trying to catch her breath. His fingers curled around hers.

"How long do we have again?" he asked idly.

"One hour."

"Time enough," he decided gravely, pressing a languid kiss into the flushed skin at her shoulder.

"What about – " she broke off, shivering at his touch. "-what about anger management, Neji? I mean, think of the poor bystanders you're going to beat up the next time –"

"Next time the poor bystanders will be spared because you can sing for me," he informed her matter-of-factly.

"... ...What? _I'm _your anger control?"

"Why not?" He shrugged, and then added softly: "I feel calmer around you."

"You're not planning to carry me around me with you everywhere you go, are you? You do realize that I have my own missions?" She poked him, still too pleasantly surprised to be cross.

He frowned. "Alright. I'll just have to see you more regularly then."

"You will," she agreed.

A pause. The two of them remained tangled on the rug, merely listening to the other breathing, enjoying the warmth of skin on skin. Then Tenten chuckled, a silly grin on her face as she stared up at the ceiling. "So, Neji. Admit it. You've been in love with me all the time, haven't you? You had secretly fallen for me, finding brief comfort only in my company every month, pining for the time when you could see me again," she joked.

"Hn." He smiled against her collarbone. "Perhaps."

"And there I was," she continued musingly. "Thinking that you were really just not that... ...manly."

He shifted his head to peer up at her face. "Has your opinion changed, then?" he demanded.

"Not much," she teased, grinning. "I'm open to suggestions, of course, if you can convince me."

"Is that a challenge?"

"Perhaps."

"I'll do my best," he promised her huskily, and then Tenten was much too busy enjoying proof that he was indeed male to answer coherently.


	7. A Man in Uniform

**I do believe that I have sunk to a whole new level of fangirlness. And that I have an unhealthy obsession with the navy. **

**A Man in Uniform. **

Neji woke up with a splitting headache. He blinked; the world swam sluggishly in thick, blurred waves of white and immediately he shut his eyes again, tightly, against the morning light that seemed intent on hammering itself into his retina. Thankfully the bed was warm, soft, and there was a faint scent of chrysanthemums that soothed the throbbing of his aching head.

He shifted experimentally, feeling silky sheets sliding over his bare skin.

Hn. So he was completely naked. Alright... ...

Sighing, he tried to remember what exactly had happened last night to land him in such an awkward situation. After all, Hyuuga Neji was a sensible, highly self-disciplined man with a strict code of conduct that he kept to almost religiously. There was no reasonable explanation for his waking up with a major hangover, naked save for what felt like silk handcuffs around his right wrist. Of course not. Unless...

Perhaps he had been drugged and abducted by the enemy. After all, these were dangerous times and a man as highly ranked as Hyuuga Neji in the Imperial Japanese Navy would be an invaluable source of information. Perhaps he was being held prisoner in some seedy motel, about to be tortured by Korean spies. Perhaps –

Then Neji realized that his warship had just docked into Konoha Harbour yesterday morning, back from a few arduous months of fighting at sea in the name of Emperor Uzumaki. He was back in Japan, not some naval base in foreign territory. There was also the problem of why his mouth tasted not of any kind of sedative but the bitter edge of sake.

_Her _mouth had tasted of sake, too – sake, and the sweetest hint of chrysanthemum tea.

Neji started when the unbidden thought crossed his mind. _Her? _Who the hell was _her? _He burrowed deeper into the sheets, desperately trying to find any memory of last night, any trace, any clue of what had taken place... ...

_Her skin was smoother than the silk sheets on her bed, tanned and slightly freckled. His breath hitched when she clambered onto his lap without caring that she was creasing her dress, smiling at him in that deceptively sweet way of hers. _

"_I like a man in uniform," she informed him in a seductive whisper, a wicked gleam in her coffee brown eyes. _

"_Lucky me," he murmured, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her closer. She buried her fingers into his low ponytail as he bent down to kiss an exposed collarbone. Kami-sama, she was wonderful..._

Neji felt his cheeks heating up. He needed to go earlier than that – much earlier –

"_I think he put something into this," she mumbled, sounding more than a little drunk as she took another sip from her glass of iced tea. Neji thought that she looked beautiful with her flushed cheeks and dark brown hair beginning to escape from their buns. _

"_Probably," he agreed, swaying slightly on his stool, oblivious to the appreciative glances he was getting from her. His shirt sleeves were rolled up, his tie loosened and the first few buttons undone. After all, Kiba had wanted them all to relax and he had figured that making himself comfortable was not against the rules, even if it meant looking a little disheveled and unprofessional for a few hours. _

"_Oh dear," she sighed. "I was afraid this would happen."_

"_As did I."_

_A pause._

"_Well, since we're already drunk, let's just forget this and get some sake."_

"_Lets," he nodded, grinning lopsidedly at her. She really _was _very good looking... ..._

"_Cheers!" She was beaming back at him now; Neji felt his breath hitch in his throat before he lifted his own glass to hers. _

"_Cheers."_

Neji groaned. This still wasn't making sense. Earlier, earlier... ...

_He drank the punch Kiba had handed him slowly, a dignified frown darkening his features. The first night back in Japan and Kiba had dragged him and the others to one of the new American bars that had opened up near the naval barracks. The Inuzuka really should have known better - after all, they were hardly lowly, uncouth lieutenants anymore. Experienced Admirals of the Japanese Navy really shouldn't be...frolicking...in some dark, smoky bar with dubious patrons. He glared into the shadows, picking out a group of geisha giggling in a corner being harassed by a few American soldiers. The others were mostly natives, here to take advantage of the dance floor and live band. Pfft. All this artless American music. He would much prefer listening to one of the Imperial classics or going to the Kabuki theatre instead of watching this rowdy display. _

_Kiba and Kankurou had managed to flirt their way into a group of young local girls the minute they arrived at the bar, sweeping them off their feet and onto the dance floor. Thankfully, there was one girl who had enough sense and dignity not to join in the revelry. He had seen her being dragged in by her friends, looking reluctant and beautifully out of place with her Chinese style dress and coiffured hair. Having declined politely to dance with the other sailors, she had sat down by his side at the bar with a rueful smile and a demure greeting. _

"_No alcohol," she told the Inuzuka firmly when he came over to try his hand at charming the uncharmable girl. _

"_Aw, miss. Come on, let me buy you a drink," Kiba had pleaded. "What about a few shots?"_

"_You may buy me some tea." _

"_Let's make a deal," Kiba had suggested, grabbing a dart left on the bar. "If you aim better than I do, I'll buy you as much tea as you want. But if you lose... ..." He winked suggestively. "You'll have to down as much sake as _I _want."_

"_Fine." To the surprise of both men she picked up a dart nonchalantly, flashing Kiba a sweet smile. _

"_Ladies first." Kiba bowed._

_She shrugged and flicked her wrist deftly without so much as a glance at the target. The feathered dart left her fingers with a faint hiss._

_Bullseye. _

"_Make it chrysanthemum, please," she grinned cheerfully at the stunned Inuzuka. Neji was staring at her now with undisguised respect. Beautiful, intelligent and mature with natural perfect aim... ...he had never dreamt that he would find the perfect woman in such a place as this._

_Wait. He did not just think that. _

"_Aw, miss..." Kiba began to sulk and Neji bit back a smirk, knowing that the Inuzuka had never been much of a sharpshooter and would no doubt lose to the woman. _

_Then, to the surprise of all present (including himself), he picked up the remaining dart on the table and flung it at the target. It hit the spot right next to hers, causing the other dart to quiver and fall to the ground. Neji inwardly thanked Gai for the hours of target practice his senior had imposed upon him.  
_

_Silence._

"_So, what do _I _get from the lady?" He leaned against the bar, smirking at the stunned woman. _

_She stared at him for a moment before breaking into a genuine, unaffected smile. "My name."_

"_Good enough." He nodded gravely. "You may leave now, Kiba." _

_Kiba left with a huff. She smiled wider, turning to face him properly. _

"_I'm Tenten," she told him, stretching out a hand for him to shake. He took it and pressed it to his lips, gentlemanly as always. _

"_Very pleased to meet you, Miss Tenten."_

Neji opened his eyes and blinked at the ceiling. The hammering in his head had eased a little now, his eyes beginning to adjust to the light.

_The perfect woman, huh. _He sighed. Goddamn Inuzuka. How he had managed to spike both their drinks, he did not know, but he was sure he no longer stood a chance with Miss Tenten now. She must find him morally depraved to have taken advantage of her in her drunken state, would avoid him like the plague whenever they met again in Konoha.

He sighed again, arching his back off the bed as he stretched. Inwardly he mourned the early loss of such a woman, knowing that he would most likely never meet a lady like Miss Tenten again in his lifetime.

Then he felt his hand connecting with something solid, soft and delightfully warm.

"Hey." An indignant feminine voice issued from a tangle of sheets by his side. Neji turned his head to find himself face to face with a sleepy looking Tenten. "Good morning, stranger," she muttered.

A beat of surprised silence. "I apologize most profusely for last night," Neji began, sounding uncharacteristically nervous, lifting himself up on an elbow and brushing black strands of stray hair from his face. "I did not mean to take advantage of you in any way – I just – the sake, Kiba – he – and the way you looked, you're beautiful and –"

"Mmmm. You really do look lovely shirtless," she murmured, gazing raptly at his chest, the sheets having slipped off when he began his desperate plea for forgiveness.

Another pause.

"... ...You're not angry?" he asked, blinking warily at her.

"No."

"Oh." He stared at her for a moment before falling back heavily onto the bed. "Not at all?"

"Not at all," she reassured him, sounding amused. Neji felt a sudden surge of happiness rush though him.

"You...do not mind being with me."

"Of course not."

They lay on the bed in silence for a few minutes, listening to each other breathing. Neji carefully slid a hand under the sheets to cover hers.

Another moment passed quietly by. Then: "So tell me, Neji. When exactly are you going to ask me out properly?"


	8. Puppy Love

**Written ages ago for cyberwolf, who had asked for 'puppies and fluff'.**

**Puppy Love**

Tenten stalked into the living room of the apartment she shared with her boyfriend, slamming the door noisily behind her. She flicked her keys carelessly onto the clear glass of the settee before wrenching off her sensible flats, accidentally dropping the mobile in her hand; she swore under her breath, bending to pick it up when her heavy handbag slid down from her shoulders to dangle uncomfortably from her elbow.

"Bad day?"

She looked up, flustered, swiping away the sweaty bangs from her forehead. Neji was in the hallway, a thin white towel wrapped around his waist. Evidently he had just emerged from the shower; his hair was a heavy black against the glistening pale skin of his chest, the remaining moisture at his waist slowly seeping into the towel and allowing the material to cling wetly to his hipbones.

Tenten forced a wry smile. "Oh, hey. You're home early today."

Neji shrugged. "The meeting with Hiashi was cancelled."

"Ah." Tenten nodded absently and thrust her mobile roughly into her handbag before flinging it on top of the TV. Neji frowned when she collapsed onto the sofa with a weary sigh, tiredly rubbing the back of her hand over her eyes.

"What is it?" He settled himself by her side, pale gaze fixed intently on his girlfriend's exhausted expression.

"Mmmmm...nothing much. Just snake man again."

"Orocha...Orochimura?"

"Orochimaru. Yes. He keeps bringing his damn snakes in, always trying to get Kiba and I to check them when they're obviously fine," Tenten grumbled. "For Gods sake! Today he was complaining that they weren't eating enough. Said they only ate three mice in two weeks or something. Kiba was busy with Aburame's tarantulas so _I_ had to deal with those creepy little bastards again. I mean – why don't people bring in _cats _or, or _hamsters_ or fluffy cute little things anymore? What's with all the reptiles? Does no-one keep warm blooded pets anymore? What's wrong with an average _dog_, for God's sake? Speaking of which, I didn't even get time to check up on poor little Lee and his operation is tomorrow and – "

She stopped rambling when a warm hand covered her own, stroking her calloused fingers for a quiet moment before tugging them from her forehead. Tenten blinked at Neji, surprised to find an amused smirk faintly etched onto the clean lines of his face.

"He'll be fine. Don't worry yourself."

"Easier said than done," Tenten muttered irritably.

A pause. Neji's hand tightened around hers. "I know a way to make you relax," he murmured, voice suddenly low and husky.

Hazel eyes widened. "...Neji?"

The smirk grew more pronounced as he leaned down, leaning against her shoulder as he whispered softly into her ear. "Tenten...did you know that..."

* * *

It was thanks to Lee, a golden retriever, that Neji had met Tenten. The twenty four year old had shown up one evening at the Inuzuka Clinic with a battered pup in his arms, demanding immediate treatment for the bleeding animal. Tenten, the young vet working her shift that day, had been assigned to stitch up the various cuts that ran along the pup's underbelly due to her expertise and precision with the needle.

To her surprise, the strange man with the long, low ponytail and the mesmerizing white eyes had insisted on watching the procedures; he had been obstinate in his refusal to let the pup out of his sight despite Tenten's attempt to explain that protocol did not allow normal customers from entering the surgery chambers. Finally Kiba, the owner of the clinic, had to turn a blind eye in view of the pup's rapidly deteriorating condition and reluctantly allowed the man to watch the procedure.

_"What are you doing to it?" _

_Tenten did not even bother looking up from her work; she squinted, the tip of her tongue sticking out in concentration as she carefully closed a deep cut. "Stitching this boy up. These cuts are pretty bad; you're lucky you got him here in time, otherwise these might have become infected, and then it would cost you a fortune to pay for his medication." _

_"He will be alright." It wasn't a question. Tenten had the vague feeling that she was being ordered to make sure that this dog would be alright or she would suffer horribly. _

_"Yes, he should be fine once the wounds close," she replied coolly. "But really...what happened to him?" _

_"I don't know," Neji told her seriously. "I found him on the street." _

_Tenten scowled. "Like this? It must be those damn kids again, always picking on innocent animals and really, you'd think that they'd spare such a cute little thing like this but no, they always are such brutes and..." she rambled on, not noticing the way his pale gaze slipped from the pup to her face as she continued to work absorbedly. _

_"Will he need to stay the night?" _

_"Hmm? No, no – once we give him the required shots and vaccinations he'll be free to go. Do you plan on keeping him?" _

_Neji nodded and Tenten paused in her work, glancing up at him between her bangs to smile sweetly at the man. "That's nice of you." _

_"... ...Hn." _

The problem came, though, when Neji tried to take the puppy away. The puppy, unused to kind treatment, had woken up from the anesthetic and promptly fallen in love with Tenten's warm, gentle hands as she administered the required shots; it refused to leave her side even when his new owner awkwardly tried to lift it into a doggie bag that Tenten had produced, kicking and squirming in his hands and pawing desperately towards the kind, nice woman across the surgical table.

_"Oh...damn, this always seems to happen – last time one of Nara's stags tried to limp after me when I was leaving his ranch – nasty cuts down his hindleg, you know, what with the – " _

_Neji coughed and looked pointedly at the doggie bag. Tenten froze, blushed, and patted the puppy as it tried to lick her hand. _

_"Erm. Here puppy, puppy, why don't you get into this nice, cosy little bag here and go home with this nice, sweet man? ...Oh, you adorable little thing! Look, it's wagging its tail! You little coochiecoochie baby, oh you –" _

_Another cough. Tenten glanced up a little embarrassedly at the emotionless set of the man's face and offered a wry smile. "Sorry. Why don't you try petting it? It might start liking you more that way." _

_Neji extended a hand guardedly across the table while Tenten continued cheerfully. "Did you know, petting a dog, cat – anything, really - for a few minutes can reduce pressure on your heart by nearly forty five percent? Isn't that wonderful? Make sure you find time to pet him everyday when you've taken him home, yea?" _

_Neji nodded and gave the puppy's matted fur a few stiff strokes. _

_It didn't work. _

_Tenten visibly deflated a little and pursed her lips. "Perhaps, we should –" _

_"Obviously it would be best if you just came with me." _

_"What?" Tenten jerked back, startled. The puppy whined and pawed at the air after her. Neji merely raised an eyebrow. _

_"It's nearly eight. He won't leave your side; you haven't had dinner yet, and neither have I," he told her matter-of-factly. "The best solution would be if you ate with me." _

_"B-but –" _

_"Afterwards you'll have to follow me back to my apartment so I can drop him off. I'll drive you home, of course." _

_"I – well – I mean, you - " Tenten stammered weakly, too surprised to be coherent. "No restaurant will – I mean – dogs? Animals are not allowed, we'll be refused entry –" _

_"Not if I own the restaurant." _

_"You own a restaurant?" _

_"A few. You may take your pick." _

_"...I don't even know your name!" _

_"Hyuuga Neji." _

_"Oh. Well. I'm Tenten," she replied hastily. "But – " _

_"Let's go." _

And thus began Neji and Tenten's first date.

Lee continued to play a big part in their relationship even after Tenten moved into her boyfriend's apartment; the couple took quiet pleasure in taking him on long walks through the nearby park at night, letting him scamper cheerfully through the deserted playground while they took their time trailing slowly after him, fingers entwined. Neji often ruffled his fur affectionately when Tenten wasn't looking, silenting thanking him for having been the best excuse possible to ask Tenten out.

* * *

"...that petting something for a few minutes can reduce pressure on your heart by nearly 45 percent?"

Tenten blinked at her boyfriend. "What? Yes, I knew that, but why – I mean – there's nothing _to _pet, Lee's at the clinic remember?"

Neji merely looked at her, the corner of his mouth twisting up in a faint smirk.

"What? Why are you smirking like that, Hyuuga Neji? I mean, what _can _I pet, the cushion? Unless – wait – " she narrowed her eyes. "- you don't mean that I should pet _you, _do you?

Neji's smirk widened and suddenly he shifted on the sofa, adjusting his weight so that he was facing away from Tenten.

"...Neji!" Tenten slapped him lightly but the amusement was evident in her voice. "If anyone should be getting a backrub here, it should be _me!" _

"We'll take turns," he offered generously. Tenten rolled her eyes and sighed, leaning forwards to rest her chin on his shoulder.

"Alright, alright," she muttered, hands creeping up the smooth, pale skin of his back and massaging him gently with her palms. "But you better make mine good, Hyuuga."

Neji twisted his head to glance back at her and suddenly Tenten had trouble breathing from the look in his eyes. Gods, he was sexy -

"Oh, it'll be good," he promised her huskily.

Tenten didn't doubt it.

_-- -- --_

Note: the forty five percent came from some article I read somewhere sometime ago. Don't take my word for it, though petting a dog/cat etc IS scientifically proven to reduce stress.


	9. Stand and Deliver

**Stand and Deliver!**

He cut a cruel silhouette against the stunning crimson of the autumn sunset, a formidable figure on a magnificent steed with his expensively tailored coat and fitted breeches. His finery stood starkly out of place in the desolate landscape of the barren English countryside, making him resemble more a nobleman out for an evening ride than the criminal he professed to be. The horse reared back violently and the man tightened his hold on the reins, low ponytail whipping behind him as he aimed the barrel of the pistol straight ahead.

"Stand and deliver!" The low baritone rang clearly through the crisp, cold air. His coat billowed in the wind, revealing the pristine white shirt beneath; the black strip of fabric that served as an eye mask emphasized the cold white of his unnervingly steady gaze.

The only male occupant of the carriage reached for his own weapon hesitantly, unwilling to risk his life despite his honour being at stake. His female companions, meanwhile, sighed and blushed, peering longingly out the windows for a glimpse of one of the legendary gentlemen of the roads: a deadly, meticulously courteous and dashingly handsome highwayman.

"Let us go on our way!" The nobleman cracked open a side door, flinging a heavy bag of coins onto the ground. Hyuuga Neji glanced witheringly at the meager offering and urged his horse forwards, cocking the pistol lazily. A woman screamed, growing pale at the sight of the approaching criminal; he merely raised an eyebrow, an elegant smirk curving across his face.

"Never fear, m'lady," he murmured. "I will never hurt such gentle creatures as yourself or your lovely companions." Then, directing a meaningful, piercing white glare at the panicking nobleman by the window seat: "I only fear that your ...most illustrious...escort here has not fully emptied his pockets. A humble working man such as myself, alas, has need of as much gold as can be spared."

"Right, right." The nobleman fumbled around in his waistcoat pockets, jerking out two more velvet pouches and holding them out the window with trembling, pudgy fingers. "Take it, and let us go!"

Neji dipped his head gravely as he reached out for the gold. "I thank you most profusely, sir, and sincerely hope that your journey will continue safely and -"

"Stand," A soft voice suddenly issued from behind the carriage, "- and deliver."

All heads turned to direct stunned stares at the approaching rider; in the tension of the moment neither party had noticed him sneaking through the nearby shrubbery, a shadow creeping up upon them with practiced stealth. The nobleman felt all the blood drain from his face - _another _highwayman? He barely had any gold left and asking his companions to give up their jewels would strip him of all remaining shreds of dignity.

Neji frowned, a low growl emitting from deep in his throat. "Sir?"

The rider tilted his head to the side as his horse slowed down, stopping a few feet away from the carriage with a pistol aimed at Neji's heart. The Hyuuga could tell that he was smirking from the faint crease in the mask that covered his mouth and nose.

"Put down your weapon," the rider demanded boldly, his voice muffled through the fabric. Amusement glinted in his dark brown eyes. "I'd be _very_ grateful if you would also be kind enough to hand over the gold."

"Now then," Neji attempted carefully, keeping his pistol directed at the quaking nobleman; "Why threaten a comrade in the trade? Surely there are other carriages with far wealthier patrons that you can...work...with?"

He could feel the anger burning slowly deep in his gut. How _dare _this man humiliate him so in front of his victims? He had a reputation to uphold, damn it, and this little fool here (because _little _he was; Neji was sure he could beat the man in a fair fight, what with his ridiculously slender, almost feminine frame) was breaking all the rules concerning territorial rights, showing an infuriating disregard for the code of honour amongst the genteel English highwaymen.

"True," the rider admitted. "But this is much easier." Another cock of his head. "Not to mention far more entertaining."

Neji bristled, squaring his shoulders when the rider traced a finger over the trigger of his pistol. "You - "

"The gold."

"Take it," Neji growled angrily, letting his arm drop and pulling his horse back a few steps. The nobleman swallowed and flung the pouches away from the carriage as if they burnt his fingers. The rider caught them deftly and saluted him cheerily, turning to leave Neji with one last, derisive comment: "Keep the gold on the ground, sir, as my thanks."

And then he was gone, with a quiet "Giddyup!" and a casual wave, leaving Neji to stare at a rapidly disappearing shadow as he melted into the early night.

"Curse him," Neji muttered under his breath, feeling his cheeks burn with embarrassment when the carriage, too, rumbled away hurriedly, leaving him alone with his horse on an abandoned patch of dirt road. Then a spot of colour caught his eye, a glimpse of pale pink tangled in the shrubbery. The rider had dropped something, apparently; curious, he twisted off his horse and strode over to investigate.

His eyes widened in surprise when he tugged the object away from the brambles.

"...Hn. Interesting," he murmured to himself, before tucking it into his pocket and staring out across the vast landscape, drawing his coat closer to himself against the cold wind.

* * *

"Miss Tenten."

She cocked her head to the side, smiling when she was approached by the man in the corridors of the luxurious Hyuuga mansion. "M'Lord?"

Neji examined her closely as he drew nearer, pale gaze sweeping down the exposed flesh of her throat and the low neckline of her Prussian blue gown, lingering briefly at the elegant dip of her waist before directing back to what intrigued him the most at the moment: her hair.

From the very first day of her arrival Lord Neji - one of the more prominent members of the branch Hyuuga, who, despite his aristocratic status, was forced into subservience to the main house - had been taken by the way the new governess wore her dark tresses in two elaborate buns, tied tightly by pale pink ribbons. The two had become rather well acquainted during the past half year, thanks to the fact that Tenten tutored Lady Hanabi, his younger cousin, and the relative approachability of the man due to his being a branch member. (The truth was that the Hyuuga was usually impossible to get to know even despite his social status - his icily polite demeanor made sure of that - but he had been rather captivated by the pretty foreigner, with her big brown eyes and that infectiously cheerful outlook, and so exceptions had been made. Just for her, mind you. He had a reputation to keep, after all.)

Dipping his head in greeting, he gestured towards her hair.

"Trying something new?" he asked in a deceptively casual tone, though his heart was pounding in the way it did only when he was experiencing the thrill of being on the road, anonymous and wreaking havoc on the nobility that were part of his social prison. This time, though, it was not from the gratification of revenge for enforced subservience, but rather the possibility that this woman - this seemingly innocent, dainty little thing - could in fact be...

Her hand went up automatically to brush against the single bun. "Oh...I lost the other ribbon yesterday." She smiled sheepishly.

"I see." He nodded, watching her carefully and wondering what secrets she hid behind that lovely curve of her lips.

A pause. Tenten blushed slightly under the intensity of his gaze.

"This one?" He slipped a pale, pink ribbon - slightly frayed by a bramble thorn - out of his pocket and offered it to the woman.

Her eyes widened, lips parting in surprise. "How – where did you find it?" Then she started, finally recognizing the full meaning and consequence of his words. She glanced up at him, stunned. "You're...last night...it was _you?_"

He smirked, bending down slightly to murmur huskily in her ear: "I think, _mademoiselle_, that a partnership would work very much in our favour."

"Really?" she asked faintly, blushing deeper when he twined their fingers, the ribbon tangled between their palms.

He pressed a kiss against the back of her hand. "Really."


	10. A Legal Affair

**Warning no.1: I just wrote this with a patchwork of various courtroom scenes from both US and UK shows in mind. Please don't hurt me if you recognize how much I've butchered the legal systems of both countries. **

**Warning no. 2: ABUNDANT FLUFF. Sugar. The works, with plenty of crack thrown in. I'm not taking this seriously. **

**Probably the last of this series. It's been fun. :D**

**--**

**A Legal Affair**

**--**

"Attention!"

The entire courtroom immediately hushed, whispered gossip from the public gallery abruptly ceasing as all eyes turned to the dark haired clerk glaring at the crowd by the witness stand. "Please rise, the court is now in session. Her Honour, Tsunade, presiding. Inuzuka vs Inuzuka."

The blonde haired judge swept into the room slowly, eliciting a few raised eyebrows at the bottle of cheap wine hanging loosely between her fingers.

"Thank you, Shizune," she sighed, slamming the drink onto her desk before seating herself down and facing the assembly with a bored expression. A pause. "So. What's this shit all about?"

"Your Honour!" Shizune looked scandalized at the judge's cavalier attitude. "The protocol says – you must not –"

"To hell with the goddamn protocol," Tsunade interrupted irritably, shifting through the notes before her with evident distaste. "A divorce case, huh. Details for the splitting of possessions all worked out already – shouldn't you two just be finishing the paperwork for an annulment with a legal officer, then, instead of bothering me with a trial? Oh, wait – _grounds_ for divorce disputed. So you two want to split, but can't agree on the official reason that's going to be printed on the divorce certificate." She gave a disbelieving snort. "Prosecution – Mrs Inuzuka...maiden name Miss Yamanaka?" She glanced down towards the blonde woman sitting by her attorney. "Accuses the defendant, Mr. Inuzuka here –" Her amber gaze slid onto the defendant. "-Of the use of fraudulent means during the inducement of consent of marriage. Fraudulent means? What, did he drug you up or something before you said yes?" She snorted again. "Counsel for defendant, Mr. Neji Hyuuga. Counsel for prosecution..._Mrs. _Hyuuga? You two are married?"

"_Miss Tenten_ will be fine," the brunette spoke up frostily, before ripping a sheet from the open notebook before her with a noticeably ring-less hand, scrunching it up into a tight ball and carelessly tossing it into the wastebasket twenty feet across the courtroom. Neji directed a glare at his wife from where he sat next to Kiba but she merely stared straight forwards, a stony expression on her face.

Tsunade examined the younger woman with faint interest before shrugging. She hammered the gavel twice; the session was officially begun. "Call the first witness, damn it."

--

"So tell me, Miss Haruno." Tenten leaned an elbow against the witness stand and looked the pink haired young woman steadily in the eye. "Did you ever feel that Mr Inuzuka displayed any...shall we say..._insincerity_, during his courtship of the current Mrs Inuzuka?

"Um... ..." Sakura blushed, clearly uncomfortable with her current position. She bit her lip when Ino shot her a meaningful look. "Well...I used to get the impression that Kiba liked Ino for reasons other than...well, the better reasons why you'd want to marry someone."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, Ino-pig – I mean – Ino...is a very attractive woman, as you can obviously see," Sakura hurried on, attempting to cover her slip-up before Ino melted her into a puddle of pink goo with her now scorching glare. "And when they were still going out, Kiba... ...Kiba liked to show her off to his friends. As if Ino was only a trophy, like a new sports car, or... ..."

"What's wrong with a guy wanting to show off his hot girlfriend?" Kiba interrupted angrily, banging his fist on the table. Neji frowned.

"Mr Inuzuka, let me handle this," he murmured smoothly, putting a placating hand on the man's elbow and standing up. He coughed. "Objection, your Honour."

"What?" Tsunade snapped, looking up from where she had been tracing lazy circles onto her paperwork with a laquered fingernail. "Get on with it!"

"The prosecution is making grossly generalized queries into the nature of Mr and the current Mrs Inuzuka's early relationship, using word games to bully Ms Sakura into giving an unfairly negative testimony towards Mr Inuzuka and-"

"Oh, shut up." Tsunade rolled her eyes. "Are you physically incapable of being concise, Mr Hyuuga?"

"Mrs Hyuuga's question was expressed in an unfair manner," Neji grit out.

"_Miss Tenten," _the brunette hissed across the courtroom, and then, louder: "Your Honour, I object to Mr Hyuuga's objection on the grounds that –"

Unfortunately Kiba had stood up and was now shouting earnestly at his wife, drowning out Tenten's attempt at a legal comeback. "I can't believe you're angry at me for showing you off to the guys! I did it because you're _hot, _and any man in his right mind would have been a fool not to do it!"

"You're such a smooth talker when you want to be, Kiba Inuzuka," Ino spat out, standing up and raising her voice to match his. "But you're nothing but a filthy liar!"

"When did I ever lie to you, for goodness' sake?"

"All the time, and I actually stupidly believed you! I only agreed to marry you in the first place because you had _somehow_ managed to convince me that you _meant it_ when you said that I was the only woman you wanted!" Ino wailed.

"But you are!"

"You're lying! What about all those... ...those other _sluts _of yours that you saw in private after we married? You think I don't know about them, but I do, you bastard!"

"Miss Yamanaka, Mr Inuzuka, both of you _will _demonstrate order in my courtroom. Now sit down. Miss Tenten, you may proceed."

There was a predatory glint in Tenten's eyes as she stood up slowly and stalked over to the Inuzuka. "Permission requested to ask the defendant a few questions."

"Permission granted."

"Mr Inuzuka." Tenten crossed her arms and smiled sweetly down at the poor man, completely ignoring the way Neji stiffened at her proximity. "Do you maintain that you had not lied to Ms Yamanaka when, during the marriage proposal, you professed that she was the only woman you'd ever be interested in romantically?"

"I do."

"But do you admit that after your marriage to Ms Yamanaka, you saw certain women in private quite regularly for purposes outside of business?"

"I admit it," he said simply, never taking his eyes off Ino.

The blonde threw her hands up in exasperation; Tenten merely nodded coldly. "Thank you, Mr Inuzuka, that is enough."

"I met with those women, Ino," Kiba continued quietly, "Because they needed my help. With Hana."

Ino snorted. "Like I'm going to be believe you."

"Could Mr Inuzuka please elaborate?" Neji cut in immediately, glancing over at Tsunade for permission to speak and assuming her approval from the bored expression on her face. "Perhaps you could tell us in what way these women – whom you saw in private and with whom your wife obviously believes you to have had carried on various affairs – required your help?"

"Well." Kiba squirmed a little in his seat. "I'd rather not discuss her private life in public, but well, you see...Hana – my older sister – who, by the way, is a lesbian - has a lot of ex-girlfriends, like the women I met up with, who want to get back with her. My sister is quite popular, you see, and –"

"Excuses, excuses." Ino curled her lip in disgust. "Don't drag Hana into your own incapacity for fidelity, Kiba. I discussed this issue with her last Christmas and she said she could deal with her ex-girlfriends just fine on her own, you know that."

"Miss Yamanaka, if you cannot resist disrupting the court, I will order the marshall to bind and gag you."

"It's true!" Kiba insisted, ignoring Tsunade's warning. "They approached me first because they thought I could put in a good word for them –"

"Unfortunately, Mr Inuzuka," Tenten interrupted smoothly (though her voice was beginning to strain a little), "You have to admit that your... ...excuse... ...is rather implausible, and that you can hardly expect us to believe you without further proof. And so–" She turned towards Tsunade, then to the audience in the gallery. "And so, I must ask all present: could any of you, in your heart of hearts, expect Ms Yamanaka to continue being a wife to a man of such doubtful reliability? Could any of you expect her to continue being a wife despite having been _duped _into marriage in the first place by the charming – yet sadly hollow- talk of this man here?"

"Like _you _know anything about being a wife," Neji muttered quietly. Tenten stiffened, fingers gripping onto the edge of the defendant's table so tightly her knuckles drained white.

"Ladies and gentlemen... ...your Honour," she continued to address the courtroom, albeit in a shakier voice: "I must further ask... ...could any of you present, witness to Ms Yamanaka's humiliation and emotional suffering, deny her acknowledgement of all that she has gone through? Could any of you deny her the painful satisfaction of knowing that the public recognizes her, through an official statement on the divorce certificate, as having been dishonourably swindled into her current marriage by the devious man sitting before me, who, quite frankly, knows nothing of what it is to be a husband?"

Tsunade wondered with vague amusement towards which of the two men sitting before her – the Hyuuga, or the Inuzuka – that last comment had been directed.

"Your Honour." Neji stood up and addressed the judge. "Surely the breakdown of this marriage cannot be fully blamed upon Mr Inuzuka. A divorce certificate vilifying him and declaring the marriage annulled due to his having – apparently - persuaded Ms Yamanaka into being his wife through fraudulent means would, surely, only address half the problem, half the reason as to why this couple has decided to go their separate ways."

Tsunade leaned back into her chair, a small smile now playing on her lips as she watched the scene unfolding before her.

"Your Honour," Neji continued quietly, turning to face the trembling brunette across the table with his pale, intense gaze, "It is easy to talk of knowing, or not knowing, how to be a husband – but I assure you that actually _being _one is a much more difficult task entirely. Imagine –" He turned towards the gallery. "-Imagine, if you will, being married to a woman who cannot understand that her husband has duties not only towards her, but towards his family."

Tenten's eyes widened; her lips parted softly. "What-"

"Imagine being married to a woman who constantly leaves her husband torn between herself and his family – both of whom are held in high affection and respect in his heart." Neji was speaking with his back turned towards Tenten now and she suddenly found herself tearing up a little, staring at the neat ponytail trailing over his shoulder.

"And what about how it feels to be wife to a man held prisoner by his family – a man whom she has tried to free from his bonds time and time again, a man whom she married anyway despite knowing that she failed – and a man who does not even try to make time _from _his family to be with her?"

"What if you were married to a woman who, despite complaining that you do not spend enough time with her, refuses to start a family of your own? A woman who does not want your child? A woman who then –" Neji's voice cracked uncharacteristically. "- Leaves you after one particularly bad fight?"

It was becoming rather clear to those assembled within the courtroom that the argument had veered slightly off the originally intended course.

Ino was staring at Neji with undisguised confusion. "But... ...I _do _want Kiba's children," she admitted in a small voice.

A pause.

"You do?" Kiba sounded torn between incredulity and joy. Then he frowned: "By the way, Mrs Hyuuga... ...my uh, family obligations aren't that bad, really. I mean, my folks are pretty easy going people in general."

"And Kiba definitely spent more time with me than with his family," Ino told them, smiling faintly. "Rushed home from work every night... ...he never agreed to work overtime even when money was tight."

"I liked catching you cooking in your lacy apron." Kiba grinned at her. Ino blushed.

"Really?"

"Really. And Ino," Kiba gazed imploringly at her. "I never lied to you. About anything. You can ask Hana about the women yourself, honestly. What kind of crazy fool would I be to carry on with other chicks when I got you, baby? Look at you, still hot stuff six years down the line."

"Oh, you." Ino smiled coquettishly at her husband. She hesitated slightly, then: "Want to watch me cook in my apron tonight?"

"You bet I do. 'Scuse me, bro."

A surprised Neji stood to the side as Kiba abruptly sprang up, strode past him and joined his wife in the middle of the courtroom floor, reaching out to claim her hand in his before the two of them strolled cheerfully out, the doors clicking smartly shut after them.

Silence.

"Well." Tsunade picked herself up off her chair and took a deep breath, stretching luxuriously. "Guess that's all for today, then."

"Um... ...your Honour," Shizune began dubiously, gazing after the apparently happily reconciled couple, "What about the documentation?"

"Just tear the damn things up. No one's getting divorced today... ...not those two, at any rate," Tsunade chuckled, taking a generous swig from her wine. "Good evening, everyone. I'll see you all tomorrow... ...unfortunately."

Within five minutes of the judge's exit the remaining audience in viewing galleries had all trickled out, leaving the courtroom completely empty save for the two attorneys still standing by the defendant's table.

Tenten sighed and rubbed tiredly at her temples. "This can't be happening to me."

Neji – who had fiddled intently with a few pieces of paper on his table while everyone filed out of the room – now glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. He opened his mouth, as if about to speak – then closed it again, turning away. The seconds ticked by slowly, awkwardly. Tenten sighed again.

"I'm going," she announced wearily, making her way back to her desk and sliding her paperwork into a slick black briefcase. "See you next case, I suppose."

Her heels rapped smartly on the ground as she walked past her estranged husband, struggling to keep a neutral expression on her face.

"... ...Wait."

She paused down the middle of the walkway at the sound of his voice but didn't look back, merely biting her lip and staring glumly down at the wooden floor.

"_Tenten_."

She turned around and eyed him warily. Neji was leaning against his desk with his arms folded, watching her with an unreadable expression on his face. "Yes?"

"What you said earlier... ...about trying to free a husband from his bonds, and failing," he began slowly. Tenten flushed.

"That was pretty silly of me, I know." She winced, wondering why, after all these years, an experienced lawyer like herself could still feel like a schoolgirl before this man.

"Is that what you really think about us? That you failed? That I still feel trapped by my family?"

Tenten looked away. "Don't you?"

"Of course not." She was surprised by the sudden gentleness in his tone. "Tenten... ...I haven't felt trapped by anyone since I met and married you."

"Don't fool around with me, Neji. Everything is still all about the Hyuuga to you. You made plans around your family, you changed _our _plans for them. How many times had you refused me when I asked you to go away with me for a weekend, because Hinata was sick or because you had some obscure Hyuuga gathering to attend? They took your childhood and – and despite what I had hoped I could do for you – they're still such a big part of your life," Tenten pointed out miserably.

"Because I chose to let them be. I _chose _to honour my familial obligations. They haven't been able to force themselves upon me for a long while now."

"Well then," she replied dully, "That's it, right? You made your choice." Then, quieter: "And you chose them over me."

"That's not true." His voice was firm, but she shook her head.

"And what you said about not wanting to have children, Neji? How was I supposed to make that big of a commitment for you when...when it seemed like you were concerned about anything _but _me?" To her mortification she was starting to cry again; her vision was going blurry and she looked down, trying to wipe away the tears discreetly.

"Don't, Tenten... ..."

She didn't move away when she felt his fingers trailing down from her temple, a thumb wiping away the wet tracks tracing down her cheek; somehow he had crossed the walkway and was now right beside her, barely an inch away. She closed her eyes briefly. Perhaps it was the familiar warmth of his skin on hers, or perhaps it was because Tenten simply felt too tired to do anything else; whatever the case, she found herself resting her forehead against his shoulder and murmuring quietly into his crisp white shirt: "I missed you, you bastard." _So damn much._

His other hand came up to rest against the small of her back. "You know. ...I never realized that you felt like I was neglecting you until it was too late. It wasn't intentional. I'm sorry." He stroked her back soothingly once, twice, before sighing. "This husband thing... ...I'm not very good at it, am I? It's difficult."

"It's not easy being a wife, either," she muttered thickly. "Especially being yours." She poked his shoulder.

A pause.

"And now that we've both established how hopeless we are at matrimony," Neji murmured into her hair, "Do you think it's time to try again?"

She pulled away slightly. "What?"

"You know they say practice makes perfect." He smiled for her, albeit uncertainly. "I've missed you around the house."

Tenten couldn't restrain her lips from curving up in return. "Well, I suppose... ..." she trailed off indecisively, playing with a strand of his hair. She wanted desperately to make things this damn thing called her marriage work with Neji... ...but it was terrifying and she couldn't help but remember how hurt she had been, how much she had hurt _him _while they had fumbled and argued their way through the first year together. "Maybe we should continue living separately for a while, think things through a bit, try meeting some new people... ..."

"I object."

He looked a little sheepish when Tenten stared up at him, incredulous.

"You really suck at making jokes, you know."

"I know." Neji looked resigned. "But I meant it."

"Well... ..."

"At least come home for dinner tonight. I'll cook."

She couldn't help but smirk. "In a lacy apron?"

"If that would please you, yes." He nodded solemnly.

_Mmmmmm... ..._Tenten shook her head to clear the very appealing mental image from her mind and scrutinized him suspiciously. "And since when have you learned to cook, anyway?"

"Since you moved out," he replied frankly. She chuckled.

"Bet you had a hard time coping without me there to take care of you," she teased, tugging lightly at his hair.

"I did," he admitted, and her smirk faded a little. Then she straightened herself, pulled away, and faced her husband with a stern expression.

"Well then, Mr Hyuuga."

"Yes, Mrs Hyuuga?"

"I want Chinese tonight. _Authentic _Chinese, mind you."

"And authentic Chinese you shall have." He made a mock bow.

Tenten giggled. And when Neji turned away to tidy up his desk, she quietly slipped a long, thin chain from around her neck, removed the ring dangling in the middle, and slid it securely onto her finger with a faint, satisfied smile.

After all, she mused to herself, eyeing the diamond sparkling prettily against her skin: she was a married woman, and this was where it belonged.


End file.
